You’re not alone!
Most of us at some point in time have to work or collaborate with someone we can’t stand. A wonderful article by Peter Bregman was recently published in the Harvard Business Review on this very topic and I really liked the insights he provided to guide anyone on improving working relationship.
- Accept that you are not going to like everyone.
It’s inevitable you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think, believe and feel. Conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values.
That person you don’t like is not intrinsically a bad human. The reason you don’t get along is because you have different values, and that difference creates judgment. Remember not everyone is like you. If you can accept that not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone, then this realisation can take a lot of the heavy emotion out of the situation.
- Turn inwards and focus on yourself
It’s important that you learn how to handle your frustration when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we can’t stand in ourselves.
Recognise the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions, attitude, and behaviour than to ask someone to be a different kind of person.
- Check your own expectations
It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic. Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, check your expectations and adjust appropriately.
- Be compassionate with yourself
And remember: “Being compassionate with yourself is the key to being compassionate with others”
When you give yourself unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance, you’re then able to give that to others.
Want to read the full article here